“Lies are the new truth,” my friend told me. I was telling him about how I had lied on my resume for a job and had stated that I was an ‘experienced computer engineer.’ Now I had got a call for an interview and did not know what to do. My interview was in an hour so I had called up a friend to give me some advice. I learned a valuable lesson from this: never take advice from your friends! My friend told me to play it cool and just keep lying if I wanted the job. Being a recent university graduate, I was in a tough situation at the time and was in desperate need of a job. So I set out for my interview, which would later lead to a frenzy of lies.
“Take a seat,” the interviewer ordered. I sat down and tried to control my shivering. The interviewer first asked my name, age and all the basics. I did not lie there. She then asked about my previous occupations. I lied there. Further, she asked my experience and where I learned my computing skills from. I lied there too. I must have been a pretty good liar because at the end of the interview, the interviewer seemed pretty impressed. She said she would check up with my previous bosses and then contact me. I was fine by this because, well, I had lied!
By the time I reached home, I summarized what I had said in my interview. According to me, I was a software engineer who had had schooling from MIT. I finished at the top of my class and was immediately recruited by NASA to design a software for one of their space missions. After I got ‘bored’ at NASA, I joined the UN and became a software engineer for them. When my contract with the UN finished, I started working for a private Chinese firm by the name of ‘Apple’ which was owned by a Pakistani millionaire. Now I was looking to explore new options.
Since I had lied about my jobs, I had lied about the contact information too! Therefore, all day long I was receiving calls, asking to talk to the Director of missions at NASA or the head of the UN’s software department and even the CEO of Apple. The day passed with me singing praises about myself and before it was over I had got the call from my interviewer, telling me that I started my new job the following day.
Early morning the next day, I was suited and booted to start my first real job and fourth fantasy job. But when I got to the office, it was a totally different scenario.
I saw all the office management standing outside, including the interviewer. At first, I thought they were all standing there to welcome me. But when I saw the police around, I knew something was wrong. A series of events followed which virtually destroyed my life. First, two cops approached me and handcuffed me. They said I was ‘under arrest for fraud.’ Then my interviewer came up to me and slapped me right across the cheek. It turns out that she was friends with the director of NASA, the head of the UN and even the CEO of Apple. She knew I was lying from the start and just wanted to see how it went.
Now, I am spending twenty years in jail for being an excellent liar. After this incident I never lied again. But then again, I am a known liar….